MLB Goon

Baseball is America's Pastime. That's the claim. That's the phrase that they invented long ago. It's also the phrase that baseball fans cling to in times of need. Since baseball hasn't been America's favorite sport in years. Fantasy football, gambling, and football's appeal to the most primitive of our human instincts, violence, has long since made football our country's favorite sport. Baseball is falling short. The sport is losing ground. It's time to change. With that in mind, one of the things that bothers me most about baseball is the DH. It is ridiculous that we have a major American sport where different divisions have different rules. The American league having a DH is tantamount to the Western Conference having a five-point line. It gives American League teams one talented hitter and makes life tough on American League pitchers. In the National League the hitter gets one guy in the line up who should be an easy out, the pitcher, no such luck for their American League counterparts. Now for the rest of our lives we'll get to hear sure he's good in the National League.

My favorite team is the Yankees and while I should be happy about the DH, I am not. For years I have watched the Yankees best players get beaned with little to no repercussions. In my opinion to quote the Dude, "This aggression will not stand." While American League pitchers take a beating due to difficulty they get their revenge by beaning hitters. Of course this is probably not a direct correlation, but it is a reality. Sure an American League pitcher has to face a strong hitter instead of a pitcher, but he also has the opportunity to throw at the guy without fear of retaliation. To me that’s MLB sponsored cowardice. If a pitcher gets knocked around and gets his feelings hurt he is well within his rights to throw at a batter, but he never has to get in the batter’s box himself. It becomes the team’s problem.

For example let’s say A.J. Burnett loses his stuff and gets taken for four hits and three runs in an inning against the Red Sox. He can then throw at David Ortiz to blow off steam and to show the Red Sox that he demands respect. Ortiz would most likely not be happy about it, but he would grudgingly take his base. In the next half of the inning, odds are that either Jeter or Arod would get beaned in retaliation. Neither of them had anything to do with the original aggression, but now they have been roped into this battle and all because A.J. thought he was being disrespected. Now Jeter wants revenge, so the next inning Pedroia gets beaned, at this point the benches are probably warned or the pitcher is thrown out or there is an out right brawl one the A.J. could choose not to take part in. In fact he would be encouraged by his coach not to take part in the fight so as not to cause undue injury. Catchers are taught from Little League on that it is their responsibility to protect the pitcher. So to follow the example, now Russell Martin has to stop a charging Dustin Pedroia and again, all because A.J. got his feelings hurt.

Of course the proceeding set of circumstances is overly specific and a special case at best. Most times when someone gets hit, the batter rolls his eyes and takes his base, but when such a circumstance occurs it infuriates me because it strikes me as cowardly. Why should the pitcher get to throw at someone without the fear of retribution? I don’t mind violence. In fact, I think that violence has a way of keeping people in line. Almost every father since the dawn of time has threatened the life of the boy taking out his daughter. Why? To keep him in line, that's why. Violence is not always a bad thing. It has the ability to keep loud mouths quiet and to right wrongs. I believe that violence could be the answer to this problem.

My solution is two pronged. One get rid of the DH, it makes games last longer and it gives the American league an unfair advantage. Now, when a pitcher throws at someone he can look forward to stepping into the box himself to face a fastball in the back. Two, introduce the idea of the MLB goon.

Hockey has been doing this forever. Hockey is a violent sport and to insure that a game doesn’t just become a street fight on ice. Hockey has put in place stringent rules that prohibit other players from joining in on a fight. These rules assure that a fight is one on one. Two men settling a dispute, it’s almost gentlemanly. In an effort to protect its best scorers all hockey teams have a goon. He is a guy that is there specifically to protect its best player. If you want to take a cheap shot at the leading scorer on a team, said team’s goon will fight you. Tit for tat, it sounds crazy, but it keeps the peace. Well, except for the fight, but we all love that, don’t we? If you have a problem with the barbaric nature of this practice, remember that these are grown men playing with sticks, hitting a puck into goal while wearing matching brightly colored uniforms in order to score more points than the other team. This is a billion dollar industry and we all love it. What I’m saying is if you’re going to have a problem with violence in sports just think about the ridiculous nature of the practice in general, let’s keep this in perspective.

My suggestion is to use the goon in MLB. With the goon, if a pitcher wants to throw at someone he would then run the risk of facing the other team’s goon. Some guy kept on the roster for the simple task of beating up the pitcher and possibly pinch running. It would basically eradicate all of the posturing and yelling and back and forth that goes on when someone gets hit. It would be great; it could be like in “Mr. Baseball.” If the pitcher apologizes and tips his hat then no harm no foul. If the goon charges him at that point he would suffer severe suspensions and fines, but if a pitcher thinks he’s tough and just wants to throw at someone to assert dominance, then the goon will charge him and a two man fight will ensue and hey if the pitcher is tough then the goon might have to swallow his pride or get beat up. There’s a reason we all love the Robin Ventura, Nolan Ryan fight.

Now, obviously eliminating the DH would work without the goon. They are two ideas that don’t necessarily run in conjunction with the other. It’s controversial and most likely stupid, but you have to think outside the box if you want to compete with football.