Nice to Meet You, I'm Ben Foster

            Hello, my name is Ben Foster, nice to meet you. That’s very nice of you to say, but unfortunately I am not in Breaking Bad. I think you mean Aaron Paul. You’re right, he is great. I’m a completely different person. Nope, I wasn’t in Drive. That’s Ryan Gosling, he’s kind of a big deal now. Again, I’m not him. Did you see 3:10 to Yuma? Yeah, I’m in that. I’ve been in a lot of movies. Do you remember X-Men: The Last Stand? No, you’re thinking of first class, I was in last stand. It was the third one. I was the guy with wings. I was also in Alpha Dog, The Mechanic, and I was just in Contraband with Mark Walberg. No, seriously, I am, I don’t know why I wasn’t in the trailer. I was like one of the main stars.

            I was just wondering, can I be in your movie? I heard you’re making a movie with more of a niche appeal. I heard it was an action movie. Is it going to be released in the summer? No, great, I really rather that it was released in January or perhaps early fall. Who needs all that pressure of a summer or holiday release? Just curious, do you have a part for an alcoholic or otherwise unpredictable “wild card” type character? I’m really good at that. I do this thing with my face, wait ‘till you see it, it’s great. It looks like I just took a swig of hot coffee, but I haven’t screamed yet. It looks like I’m mad at the coffee and the world. That’s how I convey inner turmoil. Is the character what you’d describe as “weasely”? Oh man, this sounds like its right in my wheel house. At some point in the film I’d like to freak out. The inner turmoil needs to explode with violence. That’s my specialty.

I really can’t wait to discuss this project further. I really look forward to hearing from you. If you need to get in touch with me you can contact my sponsor/trainer/life coach/agent, Lizard. Most nights we can be found in that warehouse down by the docks trying to get our fight club off the ground. Seriously, this was great. You’re project sounds fantastic. I can’t wait to work together sometime soon. Thanks for your time.